August: Dreams Started Somewhere, Is That Truly You?

Advertisements

Streams Of An Open Heart, Honesty.


Genuine and broken,

Open and honest,

Hoping on you got this,

Cause when the flower blossoms

Can I trust in the process?

Even when my brain can’t process?

Thoughts keep popping, pushing and making me nauseous,

But in the end I realize God got this

I Look up and see that God got this,

The only hope there is in this world.

Nothing can ever stop it.
A God so awesome,

You hold the universe in your palm,

You tell the stars to explode with light or stay calm,

You speak life in the vines and roots of the world,

Beyond our understanding,

So in this I understand that nothing can ever stop it.

The crazy love you have for us,

Forever it rains, forever you reign,

Take control of my life as I call your name,

Become the pilot of this detouring plane,

Set the destination for home as I live by your way.

Guide every step I take.

Guide my every day.

I come before you genuine and broken,

Open and honest,

Hoping on you got this,

Cause when the flower blossoms

Can I trust in the process?

Even when my brain can’t process?

Thoughts keep popping, pushing and making me nauseous,

But in the end I realize God got this

I Look up and see that God got this,

The only hope there is in this world.

Nothing can ever stop it.

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee
Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

August: Dreams Started Somewhere, Do You Dream?

Do you see beyond the tv screen?

beyond the illusion of being big.

Dollar bills hanging off money trees down the city streets,

Our minds filled with this simplicity.

Over complicated hypnosis, we desire what’s hip,

what’s in and we know it, but don’t know it,

overdosing in the hopeless dreams of cheddar overflowing.

The higher ups are playing mouse trap,

while we decorate our house traps,

Customize our prison cells and call it freedom.

Living as high as the ceiling, thriving off of a fleeting feeling.

Do you dream or do you say you dream?

Are you you or a clone of who they want you to be?

Can a viewer be the screen as much as the screen is the viewer?

It’s like all of society is stuck within their cell phones.

We’re bound to the insides of devices,

Just like the many chips, wires, and batteries behind iPhone screens,

we can’t get out.

We reminisce on the days when we could just buy new replacement batteries and pop them in.

Those days are gone as we hop on every new wave that flops on in.

Just like that Dreams are turned into robots trying to imitate human beings,

mass produced like jelly beans in candy factories,

pumped into jars by heavy machines and sold in stores by crocket thieves.

Do you me or do me you?

we do who true conceive to be.

To late we snooze and stay slaves to sleep,

pacing up and down a place that use to be.

July: Slowly Swimming

First comes crying, then sitting, then crawling.

Next comes, walking, talking, whining, and running.

In my case first comes floating.

Drifting away in a desolate ocean, flowing astray from the world’s gates,

floating away from home.

Alienated with a hole where my whole was.

Next comes doggy paddling,

Completely drained of all energy,

yet still able to make tiny strides of effort.

Attempts to push against the current that keeps me in my current.

Soon after I learn how to maneuver under water.

Feel like a sea otter as I push through this deep water,

although I can only see water, I’m moving forward.

In which direction?

I don’t know..

All I know is that I’m slowly swimming.

July: I Tried…

Google google,

Give me the answers, give me the remedies, the recipes,

reciprocity, I give you cookies and info and you feed me,

feed my needs that bleed from the deepest parts of me,

Google google, you exceed my being,

you fill us with the information we need,

Google google, answer me!

I tried what you said to do, I did what you suggested,

I do feel kinda sick and maybe a little congested,

My heart still feel arrested, never resting and birds of fear are nesting,

Google google, you keep projecting, intercepting and stretching,

giving me a new suggestion every second,

My heart beat is raising and I feel like ejecting,

Google you be giving me a message.

Am I overreacting, should I just sleep?

Is this senseless worry?

Am I ok or should I stay and wait,

should I keep searching for answers on why I’m awake,

why I pain, why my brain is always active when it’s not day?

You feed me so much that I might explode,

As soon as I was ready to sleep, based on google,

I found out I had every sickness known to man,

Paranoid with the shakiness of my hand,

I throw my phone down and close my eyes,

here we go again.

I tried.

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

Love Letter.

Ever since we first became friends at the beginning of the summer of 2016 I really felt like you were someone who I could just exist with. We didn’t have to talk or do anything, just existing near each other or in the same room was enough. Before we became friends at all I was subtly attracted to your existance and felt the desire to always talk to you and see what was going on inside your mind. We existed as friends and soon we’ll exist as husband and wife. I’m thankful for meeting you and every second spent with you and every second we’ll get to spend together just existing. You’re truly the perfect person for me, we’re able to just bounce thoughts off of each other so freely and effortlessly. Let’s continue to do so as we grow Gabriella Kelly (Lee in the near future). Let’s follow God with all of our hearts and truly become one under the son, representing the love that Christ has for his church.

I love you Gabriella.

– Jamal Lee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

July: Motivated When Tired, Just Go To Sleep!

Just Go To Sleep!

“It’s all in your mind”

“you control your actions”

“Just do it!”

“It’s not that hard”

“Keep pushing”

“Never give up”

“Just Go To Sleep”

“Just let go of being afraid”

“Your Situation is only a game”

“Stop playing.”

“You’re being fake”

“You’re lazy and making excuses”

“You’re useless”

“You should just stay in your room and never leave”

“You should just leave home because you’re not wanted”

“You’re just a burden to those around you”

“Leave and let your family breathe”

“Leave and you’ll see how easy life will be….. for them”

“Sleep is the main issue”

“Sleeping is not hard, just turn off your electronics”

“It’s your fault”

“You don’t have insomnia”.

“I don’t think I have insomnia”

“Definitely not”

“I just need to sleep and I’ll be alright”

“I’ll just put my phone down and go to bed without it”

“I wonder when I’ll fall asleep”

“The flicker of light behind my eye lids keep me interested”

“I wonder how that works”

“Don’t open your eyes or else it’ll reset and it’ll take longer to fall asleep”

“If I just keep my eyes closed I’ll fall asleep”

“My chest hearts, anxiety?”

“Am I hungry? Should I get a snack?”

“Maybe I need some water”

“Nah I’ll just keep my eyes closed, hopefully I’ll fall asleep”

3:00 AM

After 2 hours of rolling around in bed with no phone, no lights,

I decide to get up and get some water.

I guess it’s just one of those nights.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

 

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

Nobody Goes On Walks Anymore

What happened to the days when we could just run away,

Play a game outside and turn outside into space,

What happened to the creativity of the brain?

dancing in the rain because it was hard to refrain,

Where do these things remain?

Only the insane go on walks these days.

“If it doesn’t cost money then I’m not going”

“Wanna go eat here?”

“let’s go to the movies”

“let’s go shopping at the mall”

“I’m not going here because I have no money”

Where’s the value in just hanging out and thinking in silence together,

Together ain’t together unless there’s a money tether, or something “better”.

Simple just don’t cut it, why go on a walk in the sunset when you can pay to sit down and do nothing.

Paying money is the funnest.

Social media be the farthest we go,

we see trees and nature and say I wanna go.

We walk outside and ignore trees and nature,

We stay glued to our phones.

Social media is the farthest we go.

Nowadays we rather watch a video of people riding bikes together,

rather than riding bikes together.

We rather watch a million “DIY” videos than doing those things ourself.

“wow so artsy”

“so creative”

“I wish I can do that”

Funny thing is, you can do that,

you can do more if you really tried,

you can reach the skies and pass it, no surprise,

surpass all of the lies, just try.

Social media be the furthest we go,

if not then it’s a tv show.

“Reality” tv is life, if not the Netflix is life.

“Hey Jamal chill, go watch some Netflix”

That’s what they telling me, a new episode just came out,

Forget being creative, just hibernate and binge watch.

There’s always tomorrow to do that.

Days gone by wasted on looking at things we could buy,

things we “wish” we could do.

Black and blue when I think about this because I to,

behave the same.

I mean I try to escape this place but I can’t

and I end up lost in time wondering why it’s like this.

“300 plus years of them cold shoulders

Yet 300 million of us still got no focus”

That’s what Joey said and it’s mind boggling, I don’t get.

It’s pathetic.

We’re so ahead and in the future, yet so behind.

We’re so satisfied with the life we have,

with this life that’s fed in front of us like we’re some prisoners

receiving food from a hole and that food is the only thing we can eat.

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

 

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

Is School The Only Way?

All I hear is school this and school that.

School is great, but does school help me make this rap?

Not really, I’m just kidding.

See school can help you do what you wanna do,

but do you need school?

no.

School is an addition, a choice, a gift (If you want it).

School isn’t something that’ll make or break your life.

Of course if what you want to do with your life requires school then you do school,

But not everyone needs school.

I always hear people talking down on those who don’t go to school,

I also always hear people who are in school complaining about it and hating the experience.

How can you get at someone for enjoying their life while you’re miserable trying to make money.

Sometimes more money really does equal to more problems

and if you got problems money don’t always solve em.

Money is great, but it isn’t worth your life.

Life itself is precious and if your life is chained and shackled to school, then it’s time to rethink your life.

Because at the end of the day life is a book with many pages,

A journey that is far more vast than the mind can comprehend, so why limit it to just school and money?

Not Knocking school or anyone who goes to it,

I’m just saying that school isn’t who you are and it’s not all there is to life.

You don’t need school to be successful and happy.

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

June: I see pictures of…

I see pictures, images, stills of…

Brighter days, sunny days, illuminated caves.

Slivers of silver shining in the sky lines beyond my eyes,

life in a picture frame that extend beyond my mind.

I see something in the air.

Though not clear, I can tell something’s there.

 

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220