Not Allowed To Feel

This Video is a series of poems I wrote put together in conjoint visual and audio expression. Below the video link is the actual poems written out, so you can read them if interested.

Not Allowed To Feel:

Men feel too. Young boys grow up thinking they aren’t allowed to feel emotional and they suppress the vulnerable side of themselves thinking that’ll make them more “manly”. Men are often taught that having emotions makes them soft and that they can’t be emotional or feel pain, but it’s time we break this mould created by society and change the way people view this topic. My video features some personal vulnerability that will, hopefully, show people that men feel too and that it’s ok to experience emotions. We should all embrace our emotions, for they are part of what make us who we are.

 

Video Link: https://youtu.be/S30lRpV1LDs

 

             1. Each strand  

It feels foolish to even think like this.

Young men told that it’s their emotions that they should dismiss,

If you a real man you shouldn’t let emotions persist,

If you even let a little slip you’ll be drowned in the abyss of the wimpiest.

Before I knew it, was hiding the way I felt,

I was lying to myself and saying how I feel doesn’t matter.

My emotions bottled up inside were left to dry and these tears that I would never cry, left to die.

Convinced that it was invalid to feel,

To be real and deal with pain that I can’t conceal.

I accepted this lie and had begun to see each strand of pain as invalid.

Each strand that disappeared from my hand, invalid.

I went to sleep every night with my mind so heavy I couldn’t manage.

Elephants standing tall in the wounds that ran off the cliff.

Scars that reach far and touch the deepest,

so sleepless when I see this.

    2. What Happened?

(This poem is said throughout the video in the background)

“what happened to your….”

“Why would you do that?”

“You should do this, I think it would make you look better”

“It’s just dirty, It’s unclean”

“Come on man..”

“Just cut it off!”

“It’s time to let go bro”

“You need a new line up!”

“Eww”

“Mommy, what happened to his hair….”

“Gross!”

“Guy?!?”

“Want me to do it for you?”

“Are you alright?”

“You good fam?”

“Your appearance is not good enough,

there’s levels that you do not meet,

the way you look is not appealing,

you damage the eyes of those who see,

please….

Get

Rid

Of

It

PLeaSe?”

“Ya ya love yourself, BUT hate how you look.”

“Freedom to be who you are, but who you are is not good enough”

“You are not visually up to standard”

“I will stare at you in disgust for more than twenty two seconds then look away,

after 5 more I’ll look again.”

“It does not really matter, you’re over thinking this”

“This is something light”

“Grow up”

“This is real life”

“Why do you care so much?”

“I think you should just move on”

“It does not matter at all, just grow up and stop overthinking and being emotional, Jamal”

3. Anxiety Attack

A sound heart.

A Quiet relaxed train ride.

A storm rolls in and things aren’t the same.

The moment when the train rides off the cliff into imaginary space,

No more tracks just the feeling of falling down,

Losing a sense of reality,

You grab on to your cell phone as hard as you can to feel real again,

You step outside and embrace the cold winter chill,

Because that freezing breeze is the only thing that makes you chill,

In that moment that’s the only thing you can feel,

To be cold, to feel alive again.

4. The last two minutes of the video was an unwritten freestyle.

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

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