June: I see pictures of…

I see pictures, images, stills of…

Brighter days, sunny days, illuminated caves.

Slivers of silver shining in the sky lines beyond my eyes,

life in a picture frame that extend beyond my mind.

I see something in the air.

Though not clear, I can tell something’s there.

 

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

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June: Passion In My Weakness, Slowly Realizing…

The corners of my room are closing in on me.

Every night is suffocating in this cave I call home.

My room is a beast that feeds on my energy.

The walls have eyes that bulge out of them and they stare at me every night.

They now have mouths and they laugh at me every day.

I hop off my concrete sleeping mat in hopes that today’ll be different,

I leave with a spring in my step hoping that today will be the day I’m free from this dream.

Later that day I come home and have this hope ripped out of my chest and stomped on.

I feel the laser points of their snipers pointing at me in every direction.

Their fingers are fully loaded and they’re laughing at me.

Laughing at my feeble attempts to be free.

I can’t do it.

This is when I realize that there is no hope.

I can’t do this alone, but I am alone, so there is no hope.

This is why I’m always shivering in the summer.

Always wearing coats because the summer is so cold.

People don’t know they just assume you’re ok,

or maybe they assume you’re not.

Either way this weight is a lot and it’s pressing on my chest,

I take deep breaths to try and forget what’s next.

Slowly realizing that I am hopeless.

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

June: Tired Of…

Tired Of…

3am….

4am…..

7am…….

Time passes by and my eyes are opened wide,

stuck in the sunken place as the sun begins to rise.

So tired yet I can’t seem to fall asleep.

I thought maybe I was having a lucid dream,

but I was wrong, I was caught in a loop of a never ending dream.

A dream that flows along a never ending stream that is time,

a dream that never depletes, only repeats and defeats my withered heart.

Again and again, I find myself stuck at the same part.

As the clocks tick and seconds pass by I wonder why,

I make efforts and try to escape, but the sunken place is a ferocious cave,

a place with no days, no nights, just time in it’s prime.

I lay down on what feels like concrete and close my eyes

but, It’s no surprise that with this attempt I still see.

My eyes are open again and my heart starts beating and there’s a switch in my breathing,

and here it goes again.

Scared of the end,

I feel like it’s seeping through the creeks of my non-sleeping season.

Wonder if I can beat it…

I sit up defeated,

Feeling so tired of…

seeing the same dream that haunts my brain,

the same dream that is a never ending drain,

a drain where all the contents of my existence go down.

I’m just tired and I want to sleep,

when will this eternal insomniac adventure finish?

 

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220

June: Passion In My Weakness, Memories Of…

Memories of…

Flickers of light that fade away when I reach out to touch them.

I hear echoes of past memories behind each door,

but when I open each door I find an empty room filled with silence.

I can almost recall and then as soon as I open my mouth, it’s gone.

I’m tired and frustrated, I hate it.

It’s like my eyes open and see something so vivid and then shortly after, this “something” vanishes like a mirage you see in the desert when dehydrated for a few hours.

Questions occur and I know the right answer I just can’t recur,

to some this is “light”, nothing, soft, or easy, but for me it’s like I left my mind in the freezer,

my feet hurt, I think I’ve lost track of where I’m running.

Someone just put a cloth over the sun and now it’s dark outside,

I live in Toronto though,

so it’s not really dark, but it seems like darkness loves to loom around my heart.

Picture a framed page with strokes of paint across it’s face,

Strokes of pain stained, strokes of pure expression,

yet when you see it you’ll be guessing.

It’s so obvious, but you just don’t get it.

The art that this artist worked so hard on is thrown in the trash due to misunderstanding and lack of communication.

No matter how hard he tries to express how he feels, no one an decipher his work.

That framed page with strokes of paint across it’s face,

with strokes of pain that stained, and strokes of pure expression, all fade away and the artist is left feeling pathetic.

This is how I feel when i can’t remember the key aspects of things when I’m explaining something.

I feel like my mind became a hammer and smashed through the glass window that is my face and left it shattered in emptiness.

This is stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Music: That’s a Kawal! – Jamal Lee

Available on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, etc!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thats-a-kawal-single/id1249348220